I Apologize.

I've been too busy posting fun stuff or not posting at all. I have not abandoned my weight loss efforts. I just got a little lazy. I'm truly going to have to keep track because it's so easy to "forget" when it's not immediately on my mind. Saturday we walked to Eastern Market. I just checked it out on Gmaps and we went about 4 miles. Its hard to tell because we walked through the market and back tracked a few times. i think we may have walked further. It's a little under 2 miles just to walk there. So round trip was at least 4 miles not counting...oh, whatever. You get the point! This morning I walked over to the Secretary of State (DMV for the rest of the country~I don't know why it's the SOS in MI?) to renew my license plate. Only 2.5 weeks late. Oops. Do you KNOW how tempting it was to take that $89 go to Target? *sigh* Then over to the Library to get my very own Library card. Yay! After grad school I swore I was never going in to a Library again. As life would have it, I caved. After all, the Library is FREE! I like free these days and the Skillman Library is 1/4 mile from my apartment. By the way, that was a 2 mile walk round trip.

OH, oh, oh I almost forgot what a fun day we had yesterday! Went over to this little marina right on the Detroit River. It's located just west of Chene Park where St. Aubin ends at the Detroit River. The sign at the park entrance calls it the Tricentennial Park and Marina. SO pretty!! Me, Jane and Bev went over with our blankets and books and lounged on the grass under a tree. Since we're all apartment dwellers downtown we decided this would be our new "back yard". So relaxing. I'm excited about all of the little gems I've been discovering in Detroit! Have a told you how much I love living here? I know. I probably need my head checked!! After that we went down to the Concert of Colors festival and saw Aaron Neville perform. I feel akin to him because he's from New Orleans. I can't say that I love his voice but his band is spectacular! I really enjoyed listening to the music. Need I mention it was FREE? I should change the name of this blog to reflect finding FREE things to do during unemployment!

I just found out on Friday that one of my dearest friends, Kim, is getting married! Kim has always been like my sister. We met in 1983 when I was 9 and she was almost 11. We lived a block from each other and were always together growing up! She has been with her boyfriend, Rob for almost 10 years and though they've had their ups and downs they always pulled through. I'm so happy for her! I get to help with the planning and I'm in charge of decorations so I've got a job on my hands. It's going to be a simple backyard ceremony. I LOVE and encourage this idea because I think weddings are over-rated. I compare weddings to what has happened to Christmas...we seem to forget the meaning and obsess too much on the material aspect of such an important celebration! I'm behind her 100%. Congrats, Kimmeh!
Here's the most recent picture of Kim and I. We took this one afternoon a few weeks ago after we colored our hair and did pedicures! Then we drank wine. Heeheeee. Salon 506: Make your appointment today!


Now I leave you with some photos I took at the marina with my Blackberry.

In Case You Think I've Fallen...

Not to overshadow my Birthday but I just wanted to mention one thing! I'm still exercising, walking and keeping busy! So much so, that I've had little time left for blogging! I've been helping out where I can. My friends know how much I love gardening, organizing and basically doing the things they hate so I've been getting a lot of calls for help. Current projects include organizing closets and prepping for garage/Yard/Tag Sales. I even got a MP3 playing alarm clock radio, a beach bag with a mat and a sweet Adidas backpack out of the deal, among other things! Score for the poor girl! I'm not getting on the scale until the 15th. You'll have to wait as long as I do to discover the numbers. Stay tuned!

Oh, and in case I don't get back in time: HAPPY 4th of July~ or Independence Day as it's technically called! I hope everyone in the US has a fun and SAFE holiday. be careful, please! I read this morning that 51% of accidents on the 4th are alcohol related so PLEASE: DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE! A good time can cost you thousands...or your life and I love you too much to hear any of that noise! :)

Feels like Summer.

Yesterday it hit 86* on the thermometer in my car. I've gotta say, I LOVE it! I know by August that opinion will change but for now I will take sweltering hot over the cold we survived throughout the past winter! Last night we walked to the Lager House and back. 1.7 miles. I'll take it. I've been burning a lot of calories lately, apparently, because I'm down a total of 3.4 pounds since I've been trying. Not bad! My friend Irv is visiting from St Louis and we're always up and running. It won't stop just yet. Tonight we're going to watch the fireworks from the top of the Financial Building. I didn't know Detroit had a "financial" building and I'm not sure who "owns" the fireworks this year. I always knew them as the Hudson's Fireworks. I think Target pinned their name to it over the past few years. Corporate wants to attach their money...errr, name to everything these days. At any rate, last time I watched firworks from the rooftop was in NYC in 2006 so I'm looking forward to seeing them and hanging out with my peeps. I'm not going to forget my camera. Living downtown is living the life.

I'm Walkin'.

I walked four miles already this morning! That was after I did the treadmill and upper arms. I wish I knew how to get the gmaps map photo of the routes I decide to take every day but i did figure out how to save a route and if you clicky clicky you can view it. Exciting, huh? Oh, I also walked four miles last night. I'm headed for a busy few days. I'll still be keeping tabs, don't you worry. Later!

Motivated on a Monday!!

I worked this morning. Manual labor, I tell ya! I was sweating my ass off for 5 hours straight! If only I had such an active job full-time. I'd have a chance! After Jane got home we went out with Bailey in tow and walked 3.1 miles down to the Detroit River, around and back. I LOVE walking outside! It doesn't feel like much but it must be working. It HAS to! Lots of people lose weight by walking. I feel like I'm going to sleep like a ROCK tonight! If only I weren't having other issues at the moment that are making me feel moody and sluggish... According to Gmaps Pedometer I burned about 400 calories. Add that to what I know I burned this morning and I did pretty darn well! You should use this site to check all of your walking Stacey! You'll be surprised, especially with all the walking you do!!

Holy COW!

I just got on the scale. I know I said I wasn't going to do that but I did. Talk about adding insult to injury. I'm still trying to decide if I should reveal the number. For now, I'll just say that I have never weighed this much IN MY LIFETIME! Uuuugh. Luckily, I'm the kind of person that will be MOTIVATED by this!! I can't think of anything else to say. BLAH!

I'm Still Here!

I've been busy the past few days. Forgive me. I walked a good four miles yesterday! Tuesday night me, Tina, Di and Jane went to see Grease! I think it's funny that Taylor Hicks came out of an ICE CREAM CONE above the Soda Shoppe. I've never seen the movie or the musical before so I'm not sure if that's normal? Is Teen Angel real or part of the girl's imagination? Either way, it was corny. The whole show was. The majority of the audience were a bit older than me so I guess I could say Grease was "before my time" despite everyone my age saying "You've never seen Grease!?" Now I have. And I know why I've never seen it before and probably never will again. heh. It was cute to watch. Taylor Hicks' floating head looks sort of creepy in the promo poster! I thought the theater was going to emplode as the audience errupted into a frenzy when Mr. Hicks emerged from the ICE CREAM CONE. I, having never watched an episode of American Idol, thought it was funny. I just had to remember that if it were Harry Connick Jr I would've thought it was the best thing on Earth! Hmmmmm...I just realized I had never seen Grease AND I've never watched American Idol. Call it what you want, I call it "selective in my viewing choices".
While at the theater I spotted a promo poster for the Phantom of the Opera. Jane was super excited to see it.Don't be fooled by the look on Jane's face. This photo is staged and taken in good fun because working at the Detroit Opera House Jane will hear about nothing else but The Phantom all summer. Mentioning the names Lion King, RENT and Wicked will almost always have the same effect. People go NUTS for big shows that come to Detroit. As well they should. I guess we're just spoiled because we get to see the shows for free.
Tina and I took a nice long walk around the city and on the water yesterday. It's fun to see the waterfront busy! This weekend Windsor, ON is hosting the Red Bull Air Races so they're setting up for that. Last year Detroit hosted it so I guess they're taking turns to make it fair since we share the same waterway with Canada. The website makes the riverfront look so pretty! It does look beautiful from the sky. If I could take another helicopter ride like I did in 2007 I would be very excited!
Sooooo...we walked 4 miles according to Gmaps Pedometer. I'm going to start using this site to track my miles because it calculates how many calories you've burned based on your weight. It's not completely accurate because it's based on walking 4 miles per hour and I probably don't walk that fast. It's impossible when you have to stop before crossing the street or if other people get in the way! Along the way I snapped this picture of the Spirit of Detroit adorned with the infamous Red Wings jersey. Friday night Joe Louis Arena is hosting game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals!! Wings vs. the Pittsburgh Penguins. I'm not a member of the Wings Cult that rises during hockey season but living in "Hockeytown" you can not avoid the hype! I guess I can show my pride for the City and muster up a "Go, Wings!" Downtown is going to be INSANE tomorrow night! All the hotels down here are booked solid! I should rent out my apartment. heeheeeeee... Finally, last night Jane and I joined a bunch of neighbors in our building over and Cliff Bells for the Mad Hatter "Torch with a Twist" Burlesque Show. I wasn't looking at the show because I was too busy running my mouth but at one point I did notice a person dancing behind a sheet, creating a shadow effect. I guess that was risque in the 20's? I didn't take any pictures, sorry. It was a good time though and Cliff Bells is my new favorite place to hang out. I joined their mailing list so I'll be keeping an eye on what's going on down there since it's literally the building below my apartment window. On Sundays nights you can actually hear the music coming from the place. It's cool, trust me.

Boring Myself.

I have to keep writing these posts even if it feels redundant. It feels like I've officially jumped back on the wagon. I've been more active and eating better since Friday. I feel 100% better than I did a week ago! I did a workout at the gym yesterday, I've been taking the stairs in my building whenever possible and today I was able to work out like I used to. Pushing myself until I thought there was nothing more to give and then giving a little bit more! I'm ready to take on more! I WANT to go to the gym! I look forward to it. All it takes is for me to cross over the threshold of feeling like it's useless/impossible to feeling submerged in it to the point that I'd be STUPID to stop now. I'm there. Here's something funny. My view from the treadmill. Heh. Ugly, huh? No wonder they put some exercise equipment on that floor/side of the building. Who would pay rent to live in a place that looks across the alley to a brick wall? I'm thankful for that wall though because it means I have workout equipment available to me 24/7 and i don't even have to leave the building. It's like having a gym in my basement except I didn't have to pay for it and I'm not responsible for it. Now that I'm actually USING it it's even more valuable. What could be more perfect? A nice Mural, perhaps? Heh heh.

Gain Control Over Sleeping Disorders
It's not uncommon for women to have trouble sleeping. But there are tricks that can help you get a better night's sleep, and they don't have to involve prescription sleep aids.
By Clare Kittredge
Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH
Sleep is so vital to health that many experts say adults need up to eight hours of sleep a night to feel energized the next day. But sleeping disorders ruin a good night’s sleep for many women.

It’s not always that women don’t sleep enough, it’s that they don’t sleep well. Women sleep more lightly than men, so they’re more easily awakened … and less apt to wake up feeling refreshed.

Sleeping Disorders: How They Affect You
Sleeping disorders can sap women’s energy levels, affecting their emotions and even their weight, says Mary Susan Esther, MD, president of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM), and a sleep medicine specialist with Charlotte Ear, Nose, and Throat Associates in Charlotte, N.C. “When you don’t sleep well, you don’t feel well, and it’s hard to think clearly. It can affect your concentration and your mood, and so you’re irritable and not as focused,” says Esther. “And it works in both directions — we know that mood symptoms like depression can cause sleeplessness.”

Poor sleep habits can also slow down your metabolism. Says Esther, “We often tell women concerned about their weight that a good diet tip is to get eight hours of sleep each night.”

To make matters worse, when you’re sleepless, you tend to crave carbohydrates. “You want the bad stuff. That’s especially so in winter when the days are dark,” adds Esther.

Sleeping Disorders: Why Women Lose Sleep
Women can have trouble sleeping for many reasons, Esther says: “Some are social. Women tend to do more, getting up with babies at night, meeting family demands, and also working more shifts.” And there’s more.

Lifestyle factors. Women’s sleep is often affected by:
Stress
Depression
Life events
Medication
Poor sleep habits
Aging — “As we get older, we don’t sleep as deeply or as efficiently,” says Esther.
Biological and hormonal factors. Women also have sleep issues just because they are female. “We have changes based on ovulation that affect sleep,” says Esther. “Usually before and during menstruation, women don’t sleep as well.” Other challenging times come during:
Pregnancy. The physical and hormonal changes that take place in pregnancy can affect sleep. Any woman who has had a child knows how uncomfortable that third trimester can be. Pregnant women also are more likely to snore, develop sleep apnea, and have leg cramps. A recent study found that pregnancy hormones measured during sleep increase a woman's risk for developing restless legs syndrome as well. “A lot of the time, that’s related to low iron,” says Esther, a condition that’s easy to treat.
Menopause. Hormonal changes during and after menopause commonly disrupt women’s sleep, increasing the risk of sleep apnea, fibromyalgia, and leg cramps during sleep. Four out of five people with fibromyalgia are female, according to the AASM.
Medical reasons. Certain conditions can impact the quality of sleep, including:
Insomnia. Women often have more trouble than men falling asleep or remaining asleep because of stress, anxiety, depression, or other factors. Medical issues often cause insomnia in older women.
Obstructive sleep apnea. Apnea occurs when throat tissue blocks the airway and interrupts breathing during sleep. Sleep apnea can be tied to serious heart health issues. Obstructive sleep apnea affects 2 to 4 percent of women, says Esther. “It’s a fairly common disorder you don’t want to miss because untreated sleep apnea has implications for the heart.”
Restless legs syndrome (RLS). This condition causes a powerful urge to move the legs, often disrupting sleep. RLS affects more women than men.
Snoring. Almost a quarter of adult women snore routinely; snoring can be a symptom of obstructive sleep apnea.
Nightmares. More women than men report having nightmares, which can be linked to suicidal urges.
Sleeping Disorders: Getting Better Rest
Try this advice from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine to improve the quality of your sleep and fend off insomnia:
Make sure your bedroom is comfortable: Try to reduce outside noises and make the temperature as comfortable as possible; use light blankets.
Make sure to get up around the same time every day, Esther says. “I focus on morning, not night [when it comes to setting a sleep schedule]. I think it’s much more important to get up at the same time each day.”
Take a bath before bed. Avoid alcohol, cigarettes, and heavy meals late in the day.
Keep any naps to under an hour and before mid-afternoon.
Avoid prescription sleep aids unless directed by your physician.
Esther points out that today, Americans in general have very poor sleep habits. “Turn the clock back to the first part of the 20th century, and we were sleeping an hour or so more per night. We didn’t have the Internet, weren’t checking our email. It was simpler,” she says.

It’s important to remember that sleep is still something we spend a third of our lives doing. “It should be a priority for all of us,” Esther says. “And we’re just beginning to get an idea of how important sleep is to the rest of our health.”

Last Updated: 04/30/2009
This section created and produced exclusively by the editorial staff of EverydayHealth.com. © 2009 EverydayHealth.com; all rights reserved.

*Phew*

I just finished drying three loads of laundry and a 45 minute workout. I forgot how good it felt to make my triceps buuuuurn. I amazed myself by doing 50 sit-ups! Who'd a thunk I could even do that many after six months? Must be keeping those abs in shape in one form or another. Heh. I concentrated on stretching too because of the kink in my neck that is still sore even after my fabulous massage on Saturday. I'm going to flip on one of the Yoga exercises on the tele before I cool off. So far, I'd say today has been a pretty good day. How's that for motivation on a Monday?

Sunday.

We took our own little tour of Detroit today. We walked over three miles from home according to my calculations on this website. My friend Matt took pictures that you can see on Flickr. I hope you can see them. I wish I had a fancy camera like his! We were interested to look at all of the really old abandoned homes. I couldn't believe the size of some of the weeds we saw! A toddler would get lost in them! heh. Most of these have been here since the early 1900's. So sad to see them in such disrepair especially when they probably had potential at one time. A lot of them are for sale or being restored. They are considered part of the Brush Park area. There's a lot of prime real estate there with the proximity to Comerica Park and Ford Field. I wish more people with money gave a shat about restoring Detroit. Maybe if Detroit politicians would get there heads out of their asses more people would be willing to invest. There are some really neat things to look at in this neighborhood.

Bailey the Attack Dog!

Getting the most out of my Cable TV.

I just did an hour of Yoga. Ahhhhhh. That felt good! I did the Biggest Loser Workout Yoga. It actually got me sweating. Good. I found it when I searched through my cable On Demand menu in the fitness section. They have an AM Yoga that takes 10 minutes that I also did. I think I'll do that again in the morning. It only took 10 minutes and now I have a shitload of energy! This afternoon (does 4 still constitute "afternoon?)I had a great dinner with pork roast, veggies and a salad. I asked Jane if she wanted to do dinner and she did so I was more than happy to cook. After that we walked Bailey for a bit. I just mapped it out and it was only a mile but I knew I was still going to do Yoga later in the day. I am still so relaxed it's stupid! I've been drinking water even when I have to gag it down. I also took three Canadian muscle and back relaxers. Don't worry, they are sold over the counter but they work better for pain and tension than anything I have ever purchased in the US. I have the bottle right next to me for tomorrow when every muscle in my body is aching! Tomorrow morning, after Yoga I'm going down to the gym to hop on the Elliptical and work on my massive upper arms.

Do I get to watch my Netflix Ghost Hunters DVD's now? Yes, I do.

Good night!

Go fly a Kite.

Haahaaa, the last item on the list that follows this post strikes me as funny. Someone not afraid to be the pun in their own joke. I used to post these all of the time back in the day. I think I'm going to hold off on the "goals" portion and just do this for myself. I will say that I'm going to see Bonerama in Cleveland next weekend and I want to feel better about myself and have a BLAST doing it. So, I guess I'll make it a goal to work out every day this week since I won't be doing anything but drinking and shaking my ass next weekend! I'll have to shake it extra hard since It's at least 3.5 hours in the car for the ride there and back. I'm really looking forward to it. I remember when I was in NOLA in Feburary the Bones were playing the Rock n Bowl on one of the nights. We were staying with the drummer so it was a no-brainer that we were going to the show. Pathetically, I felt like such shit that I STAYED back at Eric's instead of going to the show with him and Erica because I was just RUN DOWN! It was horrible looking back at it but that's the state of mind I was in. I didn't feel good at all. I just needed aome time alone. It was nice and I felt better the next day but looking back I'm mad at myself for not pulling out enough gusto to go. It's so stupid! I used to fly to NYC to see a show, stay up all day and night and then get on a flight back home at 6 in the morning the next day! WHY couldn't I go to the Rock n Bowl? That's just stupid! I wasn't myself at all during that trip. I just wasn't feeling my best. I did have fun at the Corporation with Gayle and Hank though! The Parades were the highlight for me this year. So, looking back, it wasn't a bad trip but I wasn't myself.

A switch has gone off though. Yesterday I FELT the way I felt a year ago when I was on a roll. My mind was in the right place. I was volunteering at the Detroit Opera House for an event called Bravo, Bravo! I have attended in the past but this year I agreed to help out. I took the stairs five flights up at least once but sat at the will call table most of the rest of the night. That was what I had volunteered for, afterall. But the thing is, inside were all the free drinks and food offerings I could handle. You know what I ate? Nothing. I walked through the building with the other girls and passed every table without a second thought. It was as if I wasn't even looking at things that could be consumed. When I went home I felt a sense of accomplishment and that's when I KNEW the switch had had been flipped. I'm on the right track again. I have a lot of people to thank for getting my head screwed on straight again! Lisa, Gayle, Diana, Erica, Sophia, Stacey, Shells, Tina, Bev, Jean, Monika all you guys are such good friends. I realize I may have come off as whiny and pathetic but those of us in the social work field KNOW that's what almost needs to happen before you take your head out of your ass and OWN it. I finally reached that point. I'm going to look forward and focus on the things that I need to do to stay on top. Thanks!

PS: I am a dork but I love you all! :)

So, like that bunny says, it's all about me. I'm going to start "journaling" my thoughts and feelings along with my actions again. Feel free to read or not. I'm doing this for ME! But I'd love if you'd read!!

This is from one of my favorite sites Sparkpeople(dot)com.

Remember to Reward Yourself
How to Pat Yourself on the Back
-- By Mike Kramer, Staff Writer
Everyone likes a pat on the back every once in a while. And there’s no better time to get one than when you’re out of your comfort zone, challenging yourself to improve, nervous about whether you can succeed.

Most people approach changing their health habits from a position of "pain". They constantly nag themselves, berate themselves and expect nothing but perfection, no matter how much progress is made. Tools of the trade are guilt, doubt, shame and self-flogging. Instead of celebrating the 24 pounds they’ve lost, they see the six they still haven’t lost. Sound familiar? To people used to beating themselves up, it may seem like the best way to get motivated. But consider this: if you attempted to motivate an employee like that, how long do you think they’d stick around? How successful would they be?

Let’s do it differently this time. Try to approach your goals from a position of "possibilities" instead. Find ways to use regular rewards to pat yourself on the back and give a word of encouragement. Instead of focusing on what you do wrong, try paying more attention to what you do right. While straight talk and brutal honesty are often good for getting your butt moving, for sustained motivation, the positive approach will keep you from burning out.

Rewards create a feeling of doing something you want to do, not just what you’re forcing yourself to do. Even the smallest of rewards can work wonders as you travel from milestone to milestone, pound to pound, and mile to mile.

Here’s how to set up a good rewards system:
Choose some benchmarks and reward levels. You can also reward yourself for levels of consistency.
Make the reward meaningful to you. As a reward, a new pair of shoes may not hold as much motivation as a simple night alone with a book. Then again, it might.
Choose two or three options from the Reward Roster below or come up with a few reward options of your own. It doesn’t take much. Sometimes, the best rewards are those you can’t buy.
A lot of small rewards, used for meeting smaller goals, are more effective than relying solely on the bigger rewards that require more work and more time.
Don’t use food as a reward. Even good food. It’s just too much of a slippery slope. Don’t even mess with it.
Plan to celebrate. Figure out now how you’re going to celebrate reaching your health, fitness or nutrition goal. Involve other people, tell them about it. Create a celebration that you can anticipate and then keep it within sight all the time.
Be honest with yourself. Fudging the numbers mentally, or "borrowing" against the next reward hurts the cause of building a lifetime habit. Remember to keep your focus on building a habit, not just figuring out how to get the reward.
REWARD ROSTER CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITES AND USE THEM LIBERALLY
Compliment yourself. Write down what you would say to anyone else who accomplished what you did.
Create an actual plaque or trophy.
Give yourself badges of honor for different levels of accomplishment.
Take a vacation or weekend getaway.
Take a day off from any goal activities.
Put $1 in a jar every time you meet a goal. When it gets to $50, treat yourself.
Create a Trophy Scrapbook, where you keep mementos from your accomplishments.
See a movie.
Make a grab bag of little prizes. When you reach a significant goal, reach in and get your reward!
Go for a spa treatment or massage.
Buy yourself a gift certificate.
Take a limo ride.
Subscribe to a magazine you always wanted.
Go canoeing or do something outdoorsy.
Watch your favorite TV show.
Buy something for your hobby.
Read a funny book.
Celebrate "100% Days". If you reach 100% of your goals that day, choose two rewards.
Find some time to be by yourself.
Pay someone to do the yardwork or house cleaning this week.
Fly a kite.

Good Morning!

I slept like a ROCK last night! That's a good and a bad thing. Good because I haven't slept that hard in months. Bad because I have an appointment for a massage at 11am! I love, love, love getting a massage and I really need one. I haven't had one in YEARS. I think of it as the first step in getting attuned to my body again. I don't have time for details at this time but Lisa has now scared the crap out of me. Gayle, I now understand. ;)

I'm Bloody MAD!

I walked two miles last night. It shouldn't seem like something to brag about but I'll explain. It has been one week today since I had this "Come to Jesus" conversation with my friend who convinced me that I need to get off my ass and quit being so LAZY if I wanted to lose weight! Well, he didn't put it that way but that's how I had to interpret it to myself. So, why didn't I get off my ass on Saturday morning? Why didn't I do something on Monday after my post about how motivated I was? Why didn't I fess up on Tuesday about how lazy I was being? on Wednesday I text three people that would've possibly gone on a walk with me. One person actually agreed to come down and take a walk on the river with me but what did I do? I gave him excuses and then flat out ignored him and opted instead to lie on the couch and watch 6 hours of Ghost Hunters (addicted to that show!)

I'm embarrassed. I've become SO unhealthy in the past six months that I've been unemployed. I feel this body growing around me. I feel my clothes getting too tight to wear them. I feel my girth and lumps growing where there once were none. It's downright fucking depressing!!! What the hell is wrong with me? Now I'm pissed off at myself. I worked my ass off in the Spring of 2008 and lost a whopping 29 pounds just to gain every ounce (plus some) back! That's disgusting. I'm not this sluggish, unmotivated couch potato that I've evolved into. I'm an energetic "firecracker" as I've been described. Why am I hiding inside my apartment and this body of mine?

I often feel guilty that I'm sitting home collecting unemployment while my friends are all busting their asses working long hours just to keep their jobs. It's unfair to them but it's unfair that I lost a job I LOVED because my supervisor was a d*ck. Sometimes I put on a happy face and say "I think it's awesome that I get to collect a check every two weeks and I don't even have to go to work" but most of the time I really truly wish I had a job. I feel like my days are wasted away because I have all the time in the world to do whatever I want to do but I don't have the income to do it! So, yeah, having a job trumps unemployment, hands down! I can't keep living like this. I didn't ask for this. This is not the life-style I want to live. I didn't bust my ass and put myself through school and accumulate nearly 50k in student loan debt that I've yet to start paying back just to sit at home on my ever expanding ass!! I feel like punching something! *I think I may cry* Instead of punching someone I'm giving myself a kick in the ass! From this point on, I will track, every single day, come rain or shine, how many miles I walk per day. Period. No more hiding under this rock because that does not rock! Where's the angry emoticon when I need one!?!

Yesterday I dusted off this useful website and plugged in my new address. I tracked my route last night and found out that I walked exactly 1.69 miles. See? I even rounded UP when I typed how far I walked at the beginning of this post!? From this day on I'm going to honestly post how far I've walked if it kills me. If I can't make it outside due to weather I'll walk the treadmill at the fitness center which is located IN my building!! Eventually when I shed some of this suffocating blubber I'll graduate to the Elliptical. Oh, Elliptical, how I miss treading upwards of an hour on you. Last time I was on one I couldn't do more than 5 minutes without huffing and puffing! That's just WRONG in more ways than I ever thought possible. What's my problem? Last night I also went through the cupboards and ditched all the shit! Granted the shit was relatively innocent. No chips, cookies, chocolate or any of those other evil "C" foods but there's enough here to preoccupy my mind after dusk. That's when I'm at my weakest. Lisa advised me to throw it all away and keep busy~ DUH~ I'm smart enough to know this but I needed to open up and confess my weakness to someone. Thanks for calling me out, Lisa and Stacey! I'm going to start knitting again. It's going to be hotter than hell soon but I'm going to knit scarves during my weakest hours which are usually after it's too dark to safely traverse the streets of Detroit. I'll post pictures of my silly scarves as a way to keep on track. I'm going to send the link to my blog out to the people I know will shove a foot up my ass. Please post comments here!!! I need it because if I can't be true to myself whom can I be true to? *sigh* I need a sedative because my blood is boiling!!

PS: Don't make me bust out a recent "fat" picture. You'll gag!
PSS: Thanks for reading this far.

OK, I'm going to post a "fat" picture just as a reminder of why it's so important for me to do this. These photos were taken in New Orleans in Feburary and they're horrible but it's more horrible to admit I've put on almost 10 more pounds since these pictures were taken! Also doesn't help that I'm pictured with one of the skinniest people I know! :/

Up and Running!

Last week I finally broke down and called Comcast. I need to be online full time. Now, those of you that know me KNOW I loathe Comcast for every reason I can come up with. I won't elaborate because it's just negative! After giving AT&T a failing shot I decided I'd splurge on the luxuries that no unemployed person deserves. I got high speed internet and digital cable with DVR. I have come to LOVE the DVR over the past three years! I can set any show to record and watch it anytime I please. That's great since I am not a big TV watcher. Instead of watching TV I spend most of my time browsing the world wide web. I'm looking for a job which is practically impossible these days without being online. I'd say I've applied for dozens of jobs over the past three months. Most of the time I feel like I'm just reappling for positions that I'm overqualified for. IMHO I think employers have the unemployed by the balls. They have a position, a hundered people probably want it, therefore they can offer whatever lame salary they want and the most desperate will claw eachother's eyes out for it. Not a pretty place to be because if I don't get an extension on my unemployment I'll be sitting in Hart Plaza asking suburbanites if I can have a quater to buy my cat some nip. It could be worse, right? I whole-heartedly believe that. I just have to remember that I can't control everything, even though I try, and that I have to leave some things to the powers that be. I don't think it's my destiny to live in a cardboard box. So, rather that start packing, I've decided to be proactive and take my degree further and sign up for the MSW licensure exam. I think it's bull because I already have a 50k degree that says I know what I need to know to be a social worker. "They" just need to beat the sense out of me to prove it, I suppose. Every interview I had been on ended with "Oh, we're looking to hire someone with their license." Soon, my interviews started with "I only have my limited license. Is that a problem?" Yes, apparently it is. Blah. I'm no longer going to let it get me down. I have an appointment on Wednesday to take the practice exam. Depending on how well I do, I'll know how close I am to the real deal. I bought the "best" study guide out there last summer. I guess it's time to dust it off and crack the binding? I concede.

Anywhoo ... Monday Motivation? Yes. I guess being unemployed for six months is enough to realize I need to be more proactive if I'll ever find another job. Given the economic status in Michigan apparently a Master's Degree isant enough.

In my spare time *snicker* I've been spending time with friends. I need them for support and the ocassional pick-me-up. Because, I'll admit, being unemployed can get depressing. Especially when everyone is off at work and I'm sitting here pondering the importance of existence. over the weekend i had a friend point out to me that I have all the time in the world to do whatever is most important to me. Why, I think he's right! I need to make physical fitness my job. I've got at least eight hours in a day that I can devote to eating right and working out. I have NO excuse since I have two gym memberships AND a gym in my building! That makes me LAZY! I always say I "hate" lazy people. What the hell is wrong with me?? Blah! I have work to do. I'm on a 10 Pound Challenge which will go through mid-June and since today is June 1 I better get busy! I'm going to track my progress DAILY. It's embarassing but I have to do it. If you're a regular on my blog (Lisa~ that means you. You're the only one I know that actually still reads this!!) please give me a boost or as we say on c(dot)com, a kick in the ass. Please and Thank You!

Back on Track!

I went to the gym today! Yay, Me! Jane went with me so it was great! I'm making baby steps in the right direction.

Monday Motivation!

I guess I was really stuck!

Hmmmmmmmm...to blog or not to blog? That is the question! I guess my answer is yes. Not so much for anyone else to read but for my own personal interests. I've had a lot on my mind lately and I need a place to hold myself accountable. I've been reading numerous blogs over the past few months and I think it made me feel like my blogging "skills" were inadequate. Mostly because I don't always feel witty, insightful or informative. I decided to ditch all of those feelings and continue to do this for myself. If you choose to read it, have at it. If not, I'll keep writing anyway!
Over the past four months a lot has happened. First, I joined the ranks of the unemployed in Detroit. Long story short, I got shit-canned. As not to break the laws of the Unemployment insurance Agency, I'm not going to get into that here. If you want details, email me. It's really nothing glamourous and no tears were shed. It has actually been stressful and fullfilling all at the same time.
The holidays came and went. I had a house full of freinds and family for Thanksgiving and spent a peaceful Christmas at home knitting. New Year's Eve was a BLAST! I spent two weeks in Boynton Beach with my awesome friend Monika and her family. We rang in 2009 with the Bonerama on NYE and I spent the first day of the year basking in the sunshine on the sandy beach. I couldn't have asked for more! Winter was a drag. Its was cold and snowed what seemed like every other day! Our DTE bill was $355 in the month of Feburary! That really took a bite out of my ass. It also got us thinking about moving. I moved. Most of you already know where I am. It was a smart decision and spent a long time coming. Lucky and I went solo together...perhaps I should say we formed a duet? Still in the D. I wouldn't think of going anywhere else at this point in my life. I kinda love it here. Hmmmm...at the end of February my friend Erica and I ventured to New Orleans for the Mardi Gras! It was my third MG since 2003. Always a good time. I will share pictures of all of these things in the days to come but right now I'm just giving a quick synopsis as a way to get myself back in the saddle. I'll be back on the bandwagon and offering my knowledge and thoughts on fitness (something I have neglected severly!!!), my adventure in and around the D, and my view about anything that crosses my mind! The things I most look forward to is the motivationl things that I'll still share on Monday, posting pictures of my adventures around the D, and keeping track (and accountable) of my fitness goals.

24

Number of hours that my body has been free of the nasty affects of smoking cigarettes: 24

Amount of money saved since last cigarette: $7.50.

Remaining amount of money needed until I have saved enough "cigarette money" to fly to Florida: $242.50.

Oh and today will be day number three of working out! Happy me!